Peering underneath the hedge
At my walkie-talkie on the ledge
Of the open kitchen window frame
Of the trusting Mrs. Paine
She's taken Russians in
A wife and two small kids
Marina, Rachel, June
Their smirking daddy when there's room
And now I'm off to history
And I got a front row seat
My Secret Spy Decoder Ring
Says, “Junior, follow me.
Fate is filing up her plate,
The paper route can wait.”
I let the dailies stack un-thrown
This mystery's bigger than what's known
The petty events of this world
Yellow on the drive
Until Thursday night at five
When “O.H. Lee” arrives
I sneak out in camouflage
And that night in the garage
A naked bulb illuminates
Sifting through the broken crates
Butcher paper in his teeth
The mousy ex-marine
Lifts from a blanket roll
A rifle with a scope
I caught my breath
As he clumsily drew the bolt action back
He was staring down the barrel right at me
Right at me!
Chased across the road
I burst into the kitchen of the cop next door
But he hardly looked up from his whisky neat, I shouted, “Come and see!”
Break
The cop said, “What's that thing?
Is that a Secret Spy Decoder Ring?
Are those x-ray glasses hanging from your ears? Don't you fear.
Your imagination's wild
I got a motorcade to ride in, in just a few hours
You remind me of my daughter, God bless her soul
Now, get on home…”
The cop got on his motorbike
Waved to the gunman at first light
Walking out of Mrs. Paine's front door
Package underneath his arm
“What you bringin' to work' Lee?”
“Curtain rods,” he said and winked at me
The morning paper hit the drive
“TODAY THE PRESIDENT ARRIVES”
Now, I'm off to misery
A kid not to be believed
My secret spy decoder ring
Is wryly mocking me:
“You could save his life
If you were old enough to drive…
If you were old enough to drive…
If you were old enough to drive…”
If I was old enough to drive…